Riceviamo e volentieri pubblichiamo (da un mio amico tedesco che suona da dio una Jem555) :

- How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: One to change the lightbulb, the other to say, "I can do that."
 - How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. The guitarist holds the bulb and the world revolves around him!
- How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
Place a sheet of music in front of him (scusatelo, conosce me, non gli Accordiani ;-)  )
 -  What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A music critic.